An open letter to bleeding heart liberal mainline Christians who want to stand up for those who mourn the decisions of the SCOTUS this morning

There is this Facebook group called "ELCA Clergy" which I am a part of, even though I am not yet ordained.  There is a mighty discussion right now around the biblical idea of rejoicing with those who rejoice, and mourning with those who mourn in regards to the SCOTUS decisions on DOMA and Prop 8.  The premise of the question is about how social media often doesn't leave room for feeling empathy for the 'other' and what we as clergy people can do to level the playing field and mourn with those who are mourning and rejoice with those who are rejoicing'

Here are my two cents on the issue:

It seems that the heart of the question is a very guilt driven desire to be everything for everyone.  And in that mindset the question really looks like this 'I am a bleeding heart liberal Christian who feels immense amounts of guilt when something happens that I can be happy about and I am really afraid that I might offend people who believe something different than me'.  Over functioning at it's finest, really.  

So ultimately, I reject the premise....because over functioning never got anyone anywhere but into a pit of self-misunderstanding and alienation because you cannot provide what people tell you they want from you at all times.

I want to say to these people something like 'I've never known federal protection of my relationship until now goddammit so let me celebrate and celebrate with me' but then they'd go around still feeling guilty that they aren't sympathetic to the bigoted assholes who want to deny my rights as a citizen.  Which still wouldn't solve anything.  

So instead I say to these people who feel guilt for not being able to hold both sides:

I'm not interested in you rejoicing with me and then turning around and apologizing for it to those who don't like it.  I'm not interested because when you do that your integrity cracks open and I can see your inability to stand true to your own beliefs.  I have more respect for a protestor than you, because they at least aren't trying to play on two different fields at once.

From my perspective, when you want to coddle those who are angry, you are sending me a very clear signal that we need to respect those who are hurting more than those who are rejoicing.  This, of course, is the downfall of mainstream Liberal Christianity....we can very rarely allow ourselves to feel joy, especially if there is the slightest chance that might offend someone.  

Let me tell you something though, I've been offended by your complacency as you've sat by and let our country make laws that are unjust.  I've been offended by your unwillingness to see me as a human being when I sit in your pews.  I've been offended by your sideline support when you say you welcome everyone in your churches but 'everyone' means that you still won't talk about ME because you're afraid your big money giving republicans might leave.  I've been offended when you assume that I'm straight because I'm a man.  I'm offended when you insinuate in your boundaries training that I shouldn't interact with children because people might think I want to touch them.  I'm offended by your watering down of the gospel to say 'lets sing kumbyah and get along' instead of the radical news of 'love your neighbor' which means that the people who disagree with me get communion too and I have to deal with what it means that Christ invites everyone to his table...and also that I get to be loved by people who hate me for my sexuality....the gospel does not just convict me to love people I'd rather kick to the curb, it convicts them to not kick me to the curb too.  I've been offended that you refuse to see me as a human who is capable of loving one other person and being committed to them.  And I've been offended that it has taken so long for me to be able to be ordained.  

So if I offend you by Facebook statuses that say 'DOMA is Dead' and 'thanks for standing on the right side of history' and 'Equality: Shantay you Stay, DOMA: Sashay away'....if my rejoicing offends you because I'm not worried about the bigot down the street, I'm not sorry.  I'm not sorry that you have to deal with what it means to stand for something.  I'm not sorry that I'm not allowing you to over function  at me and tell me I need to be more concerned with the poor oppressors who are now sad than my own joy at finally being able to be treated as a citizen.